Freedom — At What Cost?

Written by: SALEH AL-SHAIBANY

Let me tell you a story. The owner of two small birds left the door of the cage open after feeding them. One of them flew out like a bullet to seek freedom. The bird hit the opposite wall and died instantly. The bird that stayed behind had another partner to share its captivity for the rest of its life.

Sometimes, freedom is not a good proposition. It comes at a very high price. It spells the same thing, whether it is animals or humans.
I had the privilege of meeting a young girl who shared a secret with me. She had a very domineering father. He considered it a curse to have four daughters. He blamed his wife for it. So he locked them up in the house most of their lives. When he died, his family actually celebrated the occasion. Freedom at last after years of oppression as the cage door flew open! The old man was wealthy and the family suddenly had access to his hidden cash.

Three months later, the first dis¬aster struck the family. The second daughter, after getting her driving licence, bought a new car from her inheritance. Just like the little bird, she flew over the bridge after losing control of her car.

Weeks later, the third daughter died of pneumonia after a visit to East Africa. Then the first daughter got a divorce, and a year later, the mother died after a short illness. In less than two years, there was a complete family, though locked up but they had each other. Perhaps the man was a monster, perhaps he had a premonition. Her two surviving daughters would never know. I refrained from asking the question that 1 was dying to know the answer to — did she blame her father? Due to the sensitivity involved, I thought I had better not. All she wanted was a sympathetic ear. That was five years ago. She and her sister have rebuilt their lives and moved on. You might say that I am justifying men who deprive their family of basic needs. 1 am not. I have only one daughter, and she gets away with murder when I am around. She would probably grow up to think it is her privilege to mess around. She might even blame me for it when I am gone.

There are unseen cages every¬where. They are not erected by steel bars, but by threats, aggression or other tyrannical methods. They all mean the same thing. But the worst prisons are built by walls of emotion. Almost every other marriage we know is being held at ransom by emotional blackmail. Either the husband does not get to do things he liked as a bachelor or the wife stops seeing her old friends.

The first person who coined the phrase 'free as a bird' must have been a very miserable creature. He gave so much of importance to the word that he lost his bearings in life. The truth is, all of us bet on the fast horse. But it is the slow horse that burns the candle of energy longer. Freedom usually means running as fast as our legs can take us, perhaps never reaching our destination. Sometimes, staying behind does not mean being locked up. The catch is that it takes wisdom to know the difference between the two. If you are not sure, just bide your time and wait a little longer. Patience never fails anyone. The saints from all religions preached it. But who listens to Godly words these days anyway?